strange happenings

well it has certainly been an interesting week in my household...some bad ju-ju in the air or something to that effect. i read my horoscope everyday, more for entertainment than value, and b/c i am hoping for the day when it will tell me to stay in bed all day instead of go to work. that day finally came, and i didn't listen. about a month back i started playing soccer on tuesday nights with my bff; nothing uber serious, as i haven't played since hs. and this past tuesday we had planned to have dinner then head to our game. that morning my horoscope read "Tonight: Come home" (no joke), and to be quite honest, i wasn't totally committed to playing a game that night (just didnt have a good feeling about playing). when i arrive at work, i realize i left my duffel bag with my soccer stuff at home (should have seen it as a sign). but i go home after work anyway to pick it up anyway, get dinner, then head to the game. just before halftime i go to make a pass and my knee gives out completely. i still can't figure out if i slipped (we play on artificial turf, so getting a solid foot plant is tricky sometimes) or simply zigged when i should have zagged. i heard a pop, had to be carried off the field, and was on crutches for two days. still waiting on results from the mri, and i can kinda walk now, but the more superficial bummer is that i had to cancel my trip to FL for friends' graduation, miss out on another's birthday bash, and deal with my pissed off father all weekend instead. fml. so maybe some of it is my own fault, i suppose i have no business trying to play soccer any more, but coming to a "new" town not knowing many ppl, i thought it might be a good way to make some friends. i genuinely miss playing, and frankly, i wasn't exactly crazy about running seriously again. but that's changed. i don't like how i've let myself slip. i'm not trying to be the same athlete i used to be, but i don't like not being an athlete any longer. it's challenging being an adult, for as much as i want to be ready to tackle the world, i'm scared. i'm apprehensive about everything there is in front of me. even with regards to my bf. he's great. really. but i wonder if its really going to work between us. not that i don't care about him, its more i fear he'll tire of me. he's a good looking guy who is so indescribably selfless that he could get any girl he wants. he's def "the pretty one" in this relationship, and i've realized how insecure i am about my own physique now thanks to him (is that a good thing?). maybe "fear" is the wrong word. b/c i know that i am a strong minded person who doesn't need a man in my life to function, if we decide that a romantic relationship isn't the route that is meant for us, i can deal with it (we've been together almost two months, so the long-term relationship stage is still a long ways away for us, so a break up would needless to say be much more difficult then, unless we were both to the point where we were ready to tune out...but i digress). there are two questions that present themselves as i find myself rambling on:

what do i want to do with my life?
how does another person fit in to that plan?