on top of work and learning how to be an adult, throw in a relationship, and it feels like things are even more convoluted and confusing. i care about him so much, but is there enough at this stage for us to try and work thru issues as opposed to saying, "this was fun, but peace out"?
we've been together 2 months (exclusively, but we'd been dating for a while before then), and we're at slightly different stages in our lives, but its not so drastic that things can't work, so where do we draw the line? hard to say. we've been open about how we feel, and he's not at a point where he is ready to say "i love you", which i am ok with, but should i worry that he never reaches that point? i only say that b/c sometimes i catch myself thinking that maybe i do love him. unfortunately my past dating history has left me rather callous towards the opposite sex (in regards to truly letting go and trusting), so while i sometimes think that i want to tell him how much i truly care about him, i kno its only gonna be half hearted b/c in the back of my mind i am still trying to protect myself from being hurt in the event that he isn't receptive to my feelings. and maybe i worry too much, i have the tendency to over-think most things, but i can't help but want to protect my best interest. i have spent much too much time crying over boys in the last two years, and i kno its b/c i'm also the kind of person to let myself trust people and believe in what they tell me (or at least i used to be). but no more of being a silly girl; i'm at the point where i am comfortable letting him in slowly, and until things are a little more clear, i'm going to try my best to remain a little guarded (not trusting people is not in my nature)
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